Autumn in Alaska - no desire to go riding

It is autumn in Alaska, a time when things are at their most beautiful for riding on an ATV, and yet I have no desire to go out riding on my ATV. On the 14th of last month my mom died, and I am still in a state of shock about it. She had a massive heart attack, the first heart attack she had that was recognizable as being a heart attack, and it was... it was very massive. By the time she was airlifted from the local hospital to Providence in Anchorage it was too late.

I've been keeping a site titled Letters to Mom that lets me write letters out to the vastness of the Internet on things I would have normally talked to her about, but now can not. Things such as how much I miss her and how hard it is to face going on without her - particularly with the painful realization that I will one day loose her and dad's house.